Hello My Friends,
Here is this week's podcast, Episode 5: Mastering the Matrix and the written version is included below as usual:
Episode 5: Mastering the Matrix
Carl Jung said, a person must pay dearly for accessing the divine gift of the creative fire. I have always been fascinated by creativity, how the idea of creativity has often been constructed as “dangerous” or destructive—contained in the image of the self-destructive artist—like in Jung’s quote here.
I always wondered why some are allowed to be “creative,” while others aren’t — why creativity is often relegated to artists and expressive arts, when ALL of life is creative in one aspect or another. I was interested by those who appear to be fully self-expressed, or considered free to express themselves creatively, and the difference between those who are not, and how this has caused many people to live lives of quiet desperation, as they say, falling in line with the societal standards and norms, following the prescribed ways of living. And, I’ve wondered about the judgement connected the creative process, that keeps people from even trying something new, or heaven forbid something “creative.” I always wondered where these ideas about creativity came from—because they never made sense to me. It seems to me that creativity is at the core of our human essence.
So, this idea has come up a lot this past week, as I am in the process of creating my own template for my life, and unfolding my FREE, 11-week meditation series, entitled “Creating your Inner Temple.” It’s interesting to observe people’s reaction to this. When, for example, you start to color outside the lines, people seem to be allured by it, as they simultaneously, are quick to be critical at the same time. As, I’ve been developing my new meditation series called “Creating Your Inner Temple,” I have come face to face with this tension—around the idea of creativity, and who is authorized to wield its power. For me this energy is contained in the archetype of Inner child—that creative, inner spark, the source of genius itself. But as I am discovering more and more about myself, this inner child has many faces. This week, I met several—including the Orphaned (or abandoned) and Divine Inner Child.
One thing is for sure, as I do this work with myself as well as others, I am continually amazed by the dynamic aspects of consciousness, as numerous and dazzling as the facets of a gemstone, that glimmer in the light, depending on which way you hold it.
And as my meditation series began to emerge this last week, as I developed the topics and practices that I will be including in the series, I’ve discovered even more about myself, like that is even possible, but I ended up going even deeper into questions of “Self,”-- its content, than I’ve done before. Like what does it truly mean to redeem, or re-inhabit the space of your mind and heart?
This is a process of digging down all the way to the foundations of who I think I am—and the symbol of the temple, represents the “Matrix of Consciousness” that we know as the Self—the collection of beliefs, ideas, information that we have gathered along the way, that all mesh together at a focal point that we have identified as “I.” And as I began to dig, I saw that, even the ground below the foundations of this idea I have about this “Self,” is questionable. There are tombs buried there, parts of myself that have died that I never realized were there, or held a funeral for. And this digging, required meeting the figures there—the parts of myself that have been waiting quietly to be seen, to be found and heard, a reckoning so to speak.
And this process, really, is what is happening right now outside, “out there,” in the world with the affects we are experiencing around systemic racism, with the failure of the healthcare system, education, political and economic system, but its unfolding in a disconnected, unconscious, and disjointed way. Could you imagine how fast these changes would occur if the light of awareness of how the “self” works was brought to them. But this is part of the problem—what happens when people discover the depth of their own essence? What would happen if people started doing the work of addressing all the internal structures that end up being projected and reflected out there?
And this is where my orphan child showed up—that part of me that was in the temple, oddly enough, waiting for me all this time to actually show up! The most brilliant, genius aspect of myself was in this realm, the realm the mind couldn’t even see—the structures and constructs of the mind couldn’t house it, couldn’t conceive of it. As I’ve found, that once I hit the limit of the mind, like realized that it did not have the capacity to get me where I needed to be on my self-development and growth journey — this insight allowed me to place my heart in the center of my internal constellation, it gave me the trust gave to activate a new organ of perception—I started seeing with my heart, to hear with my heart, to feel with my heart—and a whole new way of being in the world emerged. I believe this is what is called having your second childhood. What does this mean, you ask?
Well, you can see this in the archetype of the “child” that emerges in many different ways throughout history—there is the Divine Child, Jesus tells us we must become like children to enter the kingdom of heaven. In Zen philosophy, we have the idea of “Beginner’s Mind.” And many other references to returning to childhood innocence, that echo the idea of returning to a childlike state such as the zero point as well as Emerson’s idea of the Transparent Eye, or yogic philosophy’s idea of the transparent mind. Seeing and experiencing life as it unfolds, instead of through our analytical filters and concepts. All of these references point to the archetype of the child, that represents a way of being in the world, or a “state of being.”
This state of being is unique in that it is outside of the realm of the rational, and has direct access to the imagination—a endless resource of possibility. The mind, to the contrary, thinks it already knows what this moment will be like, what it’s going to bring, and then the next. Instead of being receptive and open, the intellect limits possibility by living out of the dead past—because that is where is the mind comes from. The mind, the ego, does not usually allow for the flow of being to emerge and to have life. The ego is disconnected from the depth of its own Being. And worse yet, it doesn’t even realize it. The Christ Conscious, embodied in the historical figure of Jesus, said that he had come to this world, so that we may have life, and have it “more abundantly.” And I think this what he was referring to.
So, this becomes, for me, a process of understanding the relationship of the mind to awareness. We use our minds 24 hours day, even when we sleep, but few of us actually know how our minds work. Science tries to explain it, but the truth is the field of consciousness is a vast undiscovered territory for most — likely because we are trying to understand it with the mind. But this territory requires another type of vehicle, which involves seeing with your intuition or heart. It is feeling into, a receptivity, instead of a constant rushing out.
We must re-align our relationship to ourselves in order to become the master of the matrix of our consciousness; we must understand the relationship between the different aspects of ourselves and the nature of the mind, and the nature of the heart. In order to crack the code, we have to start identifying and clearing the old information, just like a computer that needs a new software update, but it’s more than that—we need an entirely new operating system. But the good news is that, the Matrix of the self is already connected to “the” universal operating system. The bad news is, that because we’ve been filled with so much junk code or information, our system has not been able to connect and therefore has not been able to operate correctly, to its fullest potential.
So, how do we remedy this? How do we clear the land so to speak? We need to look at what was there before we even arrived, what we inherited from our family, our society, and their stories—which I discussed two weeks ago in my Origin Stories—Part I and II. If you get a minute, check them out if you haven’t already.
But, one example of a story I inherited for instance, that rose up this week through my work, is the idea “I am fragile,” and that “life is very dangerous.” And this is a program—it arose to be removed, because it is not accurate. We are very interesting creatures, and what I found in the center of this story, is the Inner Child, the Divine Inner Spark. Because it is so innocent, it does exactly what it is told. So, instead of embracing my own spark or fire, my own creative genius, I had been instructed, in a veiled way to be very careful, and be afraid of my own creativit