Throughout my recent travels I have met some amazing women that have had much to share with me. One common theme that has been emerging in my conversations is the experience of physical symptoms they have been experiencing from overworking. I was fascinated to learn about these individual accounts, from women, who were experiencing their body shutting down in dramatic ways.
Their stories really hit home, because they told a version of the tale I'd been experiencing in my life--a deep level of exhaustion, when all I really longed for was a life I could live wholeheartedly, without constantly feeling half dead! Like these women I was meeting up with, that were reporting that they had become so emerged in their work, that they became disconnected from the messages of their own bodies…until they couldn’t ignore them anymore. These women were experiencing what is known in alternative health communities as a “healing crisis”—a way the body attempts to grab our attention after we have been ignoring the signs and signals. Like driving a car, and ignoring the oil light on the dashboard for miles, and then being surprised when the engine blows up! These women were grabbed by the message their nervous systems had been flashing at them for some time, until they finally realized they could no longer continue living the way they had been. And along with this realization came grief, disappointment, and often a feeling of failure. They wondered why they couldn’t continue to maintain the pace demanded by their work any longer. They questioned their self-worth, as they tried to re-imagine their contribution to the world. If they are not able to be in the world the way they were, how on earth will they show up in a new, but meaningful way?
This phase of the journey is at once disillusioning, but also empowering. Now that they stepped away from the conditions that were making them physically ill, they begin to notice a new level of energy and begin the self-inquiry process into how they will channel this freed up energy. They can begin again, asking, "what do I want to create?" for myself first, and then the world, second?
However, some individuals I’ve spoken to are planning on stepping back into the lion's den—not quite ready to abandon the role they had created for themselves. And, I share these stories because I can relate big time! It took me several years to walk away from a teaching job that was causing me the physical repercussions of stress. I tried to talk myself out of it. Summer break was always just long enough to recover and then head back in, thinking I just needed to rest, practice more yoga, or meditate more. In reality, I needed to listen to myself—to honor my experience and take care of myself. I spent more energy attending to others than I did to myself, and I was not able to take care of myself effectively. There was an imbalance, and all dis-ease is an attempt for an organism to restore internal equilibrium. And the thing, the situation was not really anyone's "fault," but more a product of disconnection from self. I was never taught, or given permission, or "allowed" the space to explore my own relationship to self, as I was raised, as many women, to be primarily "other" focused.
This is part of the reason I begin Mind-heart-space. I needed to create a safe place where I could investigate the nature of my own awareness, how that affected the way I carried myself in the world, the thoughts and beliefs I held, and how those shaped my own self-perception and freedom to be in the world wholeheartedly.
In fact, until fairly recently, it never occurred to me that I even had a relationship to myself—or, at least, did not completely comprehend the full extent of what a relationship to myself really means. What I’m referring to is the idea, that most of us, including myself, are in an unconscious relationship to ourselves. Probably, like me, you were not encouraged to think about relating to yourself with the same regard you would another person. And, I am not sure, but this seems to be largely a symptom of how many women are acculturated. In a relationship, I tend to give more weight to the other person—this was part of my identity, as well as, a large part that was causing me to undermine myself in many areas of my life.
This unidentified behavior pattern was causing havoc in my life, both emotionally and physically. But you can’t address what is not conscious. If it’s always, already been that way, how can one hope to distinguish the unhealthy ways they are relating to themself? The only answer I have is that I became sick and tired of not feeling good in my body. So, I slowly built a new way of relating to myself through the medium of meditation, yoga, and other healing modalities. I slowly begin to refuse to make myself uncomfortable for what I imagined to be other’s people’s comfort. I began to notice the inaccurate ideas and beliefs about the world and my relationship to it. I began to slowly put myself first in my life, instead of showing up second. And this opened a whole other door, which I will dig into in future editions. Thanks for reading!
Adrienne is an Integrative Awareness Coach (IAC), MA, CHT, and RYT--combining ancient, eastern systems of knowledge-meditation and yoga, with modern day approaches to understanding self-development, human consciousness, and Self-realization. Traveling around the world on her own self-healing journey, she pulls from a diverse repertoire of tools including the traditional practices Advaita Vedanta, Vipassana, and yoga—considered as the original sciences of consciousness—as well as the modern-day sciences of neurobiology, quantum physics, and energy medicine. In this way, she has developed a specific approach to Quantum Life Coaching (IAC) that is informed by her own personal healing process, and shaped by both an esoteric and scientific lens. She currently resides in Portland, Oregon but works with clients around the world via Zoom, Messenger and What'sApp
If you are interested in working with me or would like more information about my rates and services, please reach out through through my website @www.mindheart-space.com, or the Mindheart-space Facebook page. In the meantime, take care out there!