Updated: May 6, 2021
Simply put, as a coach, I help people face the truth of who they are. And I am not talking about the limited personality here, but the Truth, with a capital “T,” about the nature of Being itself. For some, this can be good news, and for others, not so good, depending on their level of self-awareness and desire for growth. In today’s world, many people don’t talk to each other this way, and thus, this type of self-reflection still remains somewhat unfamiliar to many. On the other hand, if you are reading this, you have probably already begun on your journey of the type of self-discovery I’m referring to here. And as such, you will already know the kind of courage and faith it takes.
Please let me explain what I mean. First of all, doing this work requires that one begins to examine all of his or her creations that make up this thing called their “life.” Secondly, a person must possess a willingness to determine which of those structures, relationships, jobs, for example, have been created out fear. And this is not always easy to determine on first glance. Thirdly, an individual must be prepared and have the willingness to remedy those situations once recognized. And lastly, and perhaps the most important of all--one must be able and willing to receive what the good they claim to desire! Sometimes this is the hardest part, but we will save this subject for another blog.
Now, at first, this all might sound pretty scary, and that’s probably because it is! But nawww, in reality, it is a grand invitation and gift you are willing to give yourself and others around you. Making life changes, no matter how small, often brings up fear. In fact, the two--change and fear--usually go hand-in-hand. But what if I told you, you were not meant to live in fear? What if I told you, no one was ever meant to live in fear?
The good news is that, any action you take to free yourself of fear, will automatically light the way for yourself, and all those around you! Although, it will require that you allow yourself to be open to different possibilities and new, potential ways of living your life.
Overcoming fear requires addressing the nervous system— the great protector—to help you negotiate a new way of relating to life and the fear that will inevitability come up around making changes. But thank goodness there are many ways to master your nervous system! Ironically, it is at a time like this, with all the uncertainty currently unfolding on our planet, that presents an opportunity for great learning and the type of growth I am speaking about here. This situation has perhaps reminded all of us, the true nature of life and Reality: nothing is ever certain!
However, it is this very feature— the pliability of reality—that actually allows for change. We are so fortunate to have this opportunity to see behind the appearance of the steely facades of the social, political, and economic structures which often cause them to seem, for many, unchangeable—as they have been made to appear like natural fortresses in the ecosystem of humanity.
And while we might all agree, that there is a natural ordering principle inherent to life, the certain brand we have been experiencing in all forms of our social systems is, all-in-all, man made, and thus changeable. And thank the Lord above for this! This situation has offered a “space,” giving many people the opportunity to begin this self-reflection process already on a world-wide scale, never seen before in our life time. As we have all been blessed with an opportunity, given more time and space than most of us ever imagined possible, to ponder the preciousness of this life and the way we've been living it. It is also a great time to decide what needs to stay and what needs to go, reassess our values, and choose from love; not fear!
Of course, because situations in life are never just one-way, this period also is also calling for a process of letting go, surrender, and mourning. A whole way of life is being lost right now, no matter how uncomfortable or limiting it may have been at times. So, this is also a time for grieving—an emotion that our culture usually doesn’t have time for, and so, it is often expressed as anger, fear, resentment, and even hate. So please be compassionate and gentle with yourself and others around you, remaining in the eye of the storm.
And so I’m included some “Hot Tips” below that I hope you may find helpful in negotiating the type of processes discussed here. They are based on the types of practices that I offer to my coaching clients, to help them structure this type of self-inquiry needed for making life changes:
Four "Hot Tips" for Self-Inquiry for Making Life Changes in Trying Times:
1. ) Begin to imagine the numerous possibilities you have to lead a more expansive and fulfilling life, doing what you love and being surrounded by others that inspire you. What kind of thoughts arise? Does "the committee" in your mind begin explain why or why not somethings are possible? Just notice and let them go.
2. ) Notice how it feels in your body to consider new possibilities. Do you feel a sense of excitement, fear, or sadness? How are these emotions similar, and how are they different?
3. ) Schedule a heart-to-heart with your ego— thank it for doing such a good job trying to protect you from perceived or unknown dangers. But let it know, you are safe and got it from here! See if you can assign your ego another important job, like planning the practical steps of your new mission in life.
4. ) Meditate—being in the present moment is always helpful in giving you the most accurate picture of your relationship to reality. Meditation also reconditions the high alert, or“watch dog” nature of our nervous system, helping us to clear outworn responses from the past. Remember, the nervous system is a product of the past, or imagined future based on more of the past and the thoughts we create about it. If the thoughts aren’t helpful, create new ones that are!